Stair Steps

Kimmie due in August. I'm due in July 4 & Brandy is due in June.
It's fun to celebrate bellies!

Flora

The roses in front of our home are exploding with life and color. They bring us such joy in their wildness and unpredictability. Fast growing, they'd quickly take over our front sidewalk if we didn't keep them trimmed.


Neighbors gave us this ceramic"Dios Bendiga este hogar" (God bless this home) sign a year or two ago. Not only is it beautiful but I love the sound it makes when a breeze taps it against the wooden fence. Jess planted these flowers this weekend in honor of my 37th birthday. Hopefully they'll have better luck than any of the other plants placed in this window box over the years!



My birthday present...an herb garden featuring chives, cilantro, thyme, rosemary & basil!

Strawberry buds forming create anticipation of a not too distant harvest!

Last year we planted Thai basil, a gift from a neighbor, and it thrived in this spot. We are hopeful for this sweet basil to have similar success. I love being able to walk outside and pluck a vegetable or herb from the 'garden' in order to enhance a meal. Wish we had more space to grow our favorites!

Happy Easter

As much as I love my church, remind me to visit a more traditional service on Easter next year.

I love how churches of my youth celebrated the day with color and joy. Andy's message was interesting, I'd never thought about how 'resurrection' wasn't a part of Old Testament speak. The event, Jesus' crucifixion and rising from the dead, was truly unique and life changing. His disciples weren't expecting that, didn't wait outside and count down the minutes and seconds until his reappearance. They were anxious, scared and scattered.

Thanks, God, for your divine plan. It is way better than I could ever imagine on my own.

Thanks, Tammy!

My neighbor and friend has become quite a guru with scrapbooking and cardmaking. For over a year she's been trying to convince me how easy and gratifying it is to make your own. I finally gave it a go by designing 40 baby shower invitations for a friend. It was a lot of work but now I know why Tammy is such an advocate. Thanks for your help, Tammy!

Thanksgiving

Cranberries. For some, this small berry is an essential enhancement for Thanksgiving meal. I'm not even sure if we had it on our table in my childhood. I certainly didn't seek it out. Last year a bag of cranberries in the produce aisle caught my attention. Deciding to see what the fuss was all about, I took the bag home and followed the simple directions on the bag. To my surprise, making cranberry sauce is incredibly easy. And it's tasty! I love the way the berries sound when they are popping over the boiling water. So now cranberries are a part of our tradition. Yum.

Big news and a step in faith

A month ago I posted my feeling that God was preparing us for something BIG! While I didn't have any preconceived notions on what exactly this might mean, Jess and I have been open to conception since May. Right before Halloween I took a pregnancy test and discovered that we are pregnant!

This pregnancy feels A LOT different from my pregnancy with Jake. For the past month I've felt nauseous about three-quarters of every day. I've been consuming great quantities of food, seeing as this is the thing that seems to help the most. My belly has already popped out and prompted me to dig out maternity clothes, which is WAY earlier than I expected or would like. At nine weeks pregnant, I look four months. Guess my body remembers what to do. At work I've gotten several knowing looks from colleagues but none have directly asked. (Thank you.)

I've been crawling into bed shortly after putting Jake down (and sometimes even before he's down.) While I'm fatigued, this early turn in is mostly an attempt to escape how crummy I feel through the balm of sleep. I'm chilled most of the time and have intestinal issues to boot. (Perhaps my body is rebelling against all the fiber I'm consuming?) Some days have been a struggle just to make it back to my pillow. I've been grumpy, short in patience, introverted, selfish and generally not much fun to be around. (Though this time my Scrabble game isn't effected!)

This morning a dear friend called and we were able to chat for nearly a half hour. Her call was truly a gift from God. He spoke wisdom through her and this conversation has challenged my faith. You see, while I'm so grateful to be blessed with this gift of life, I've also been afraid to get attached to him or her. Several of my friends have had miscarriages and this has left a huge impact on me. I've grieved for their babies and hopes lost and acutely realized that this can or could be me. This seed has caused me to withhold my trust from God.

My dear girlfriend, who recently lost a baby after five months of pregnancy, shared that she loves being pregnant. During pregnancy she feels that she's a mother to her unborn child already and desires to be the best mother she can, even while baby is in the womb. I hadn't thought about that. This idea radically changes my current attitude.

I'm a mother right now to this child, even if in spirit. So what kind of legacy do I want to share with this sweet pea, even if I do not get to carry her to full term? When we meet, on Earth or in Heaven, do I really want her experience of me to be that of a grumpy, uncomfortable, impatient and hard to please person? What if these feelings somehow get implanted on her little soul?

So, I'm going to walk forward in faith. I'm going to choose to trust my God every day. When I find myself mistrusting or holding back, I need to get on my knees and ask for forgiveness and aid in continuing to trust.

I'm going to trust that He loves me enough to bless us with this awesome gift. I'm going to trust that He is knitting her (or him!) together in my womb and He has a plan for her (and for us!) This soul certainly is His, and we are merely a stewards as parents. But I am a mom to this child now. What kind of mom to I want to be? I shall not let my physical discomfort shape my attitude. I know that I'll still be uncomfortable but I cannot let this affect how I relate to others.

Jake clearly senses something is different. He's been all about momma, wanting to be held and carried around, whereas normally he's quite fiercely independent. I wonder if knows that his world is going to radically change this summer. Do kids have that kind of intuition?

Tomorrow is my first doctor's appointment. I'm looking forward to hearing a heartbeat!

Dear friend, you know who you are. Thank you for calling. Thank you for sharing your faith walk with me these many years. You are encouraging, brave and strong. I love and admire you. Thank you for reminding me that it's not all about me. Thank you for reminding me that He can be trusted, even if things turn out differently than I hope. Thank you for gently nudging me in the right direction. I needed the nudge.

Blessings

I feel like God is trying to prepare me for something big. Not sure what, but He is proving again and again that He will provide for us all the while. We've been blessed by some wonderful gifts lately. A co-worker asked if I would like some of her son's hand me downs. I readily agreed and she brought THREE bags of clothes in the size Jake just transitioned into wearing. There were eight pairs of soft cotton long sleeve pajamas as well as 2T tops and bottoms. I feel so wonderfully blessed by this bounty. Another friend asked if he could bring over dinner since he felt prompted by the spirit. Normally my pride would say, "Thanks, but we're okay." But I readily accepted since Jess and I have been so overwhelmed with work and fatigue lately. He came over tonight with an enchilada dish that was better than anything I've eaten in a restaurant or in Mexico! The sides were yummy and dessert was decadent. Praise God for all the blessings. We feel so loved!