Monday

This photograph pretty much captures how I feel.

You know how when circumstances are unfolding, sometimes you think, "I'll be able to laugh about this later..."  Well, it's too early for me to laugh but I'm glad that everything worked out okay.

Last night I spontanteously offered to bring the children and spend the night at a friend's house as today her eldest child started kindergarten.  With the super early start time (bus arrives at 6:30 but she wanted to drive him on his first day.) she didn't want to upset her younger two children's normal schedule.  Since we were in the car on our way to a playdate, I didn't take the time or energy to pack appropriately.  We arrived after my friend's children were in bed but Jake knocked off pretty quickly after "book club."  Quinn struggled with fitfulness but finally cashed at 11.  This morning we woke up and Jake's bottom was covered with a nasty looking raised rash.  He complained of itchiness and discomfort.  I asked my friend, a mother of three, to see what she thought of the rash.  She gave me a concoction to slather on his bum, a mix of Desitin, lotromin, vaseline, neosporin and something else.  (I forget.) We played for awhile and then loaded up the car to go swimming at their pool.  When I got Jake out of his carseat in the parking lot of the pool I noticed that he was COVERED in bumps...arms, neck, face (and bum!)  Obviously this ended the pool date.  While he was bummed, his consolation prize was a trip through the Chick-fil-a drive thru.  Our peditrician's office couldn't squeeze him in so we ventured to an urgent care.  Yes, in our swim suits.  I packed clothing for the children but neglected to put anything but pajamas and a swim suit in for me. (Which was okay for sleeping and a pool date!)  So I arrive at urgent care in my swim suit.  Quinn's internal hunger alarm goes off, sending two waterfalls of breast milk down my chest while I'm getting Jake checked in.  So there I stand...haven't brushed my hair, I smell, I have a screaming child in arms and a whiney child running around the office while milk squirts out of my boobs.  Lovely.  Fortunately the doctor doesn't believe that the rash, which has receeded since the parking lot, is contagious and sends us home with a note for the same concoction that my friend shared with me earlier.  When I pull the car into the garage, Jake pipes up, "What's wrong with Quinn?" I turn around and see that BOTH carseats are at 45 degree angles.  The kids' heads are almost touching in the center of the seat.  I am SOOOOOOO glad that we weren't in any sort of accident. 

Now we are home, both kids are finally asleep so perhaps....

just maybe...

hopefully...

I can nap, too?!

Little buggars

Jess had some choice words for these two nuisances after they decimated his jalapeno plant.

While I believe in the relocation program, Jess' frustration at losing most of his crop led to their unhappy end.  (I escorted the children into the house before he unleashed his wrath.)

Who would have thought that they could abide the spice?!

Introducing... Guitar Fish

Lead Guitarist...Pamela rock the house Kutzner

Drummer (on the guitar)--Double J

Lead vocalist (subbing on drums)-Christina-Koo Koo Ka Choo- Canto

Bassist-Uncle-slap some cheese up on that-Michael

Quinn-vocals (harmony)

Rock Band is my new favorite game.  Our friends let us borrow their X Box while they are out of town and  this game has taught me a couple of truths...
1.  I don't know the words to songs as well as I think I do.
2.  You get to know people you think you already know in a new way.
3.  This takes multi-tasking to a whole new level.
4.  I now understand the phenonema on American Idol auditions when an individual thinks he/she is really good at something but isn't.
5.  Rock Band is an incredible ice-breaker.
6.  Time has no meaning when you are rocking out.

Note to self

It's okay to extend an adult's birthday celebration out for a week or two but stretching a three year old's birthday makes for an especially whiny, self-absorbed and entitled toddler.  Remember that!

Father's Day

Happy Father's Day

Dear Jess,

You are a wonderful daddy to Jake and I am so excited about seeing you cherish Quinn, too.  I know that you are a little worried about being able to love someone new as much as you love him, but love expands.  It grows and enhances and doesn't deal with division or subtraction.  I'm thrilled about experiencing this truth with the addition of our little girl.

I love how hands on you are with our son.  One of my favorite things to do is sit on the edge of the living room and watch you engage Jake in a game of football.  The smile on his face lights up the room and his laughter is infectious.  He loves you SO much.  Thanks for sharing your passion of football with him.  (Though I'm still hopeful that in high school he'll choose the safer route of band!)  I love how you've stepped outside of your comfort zone to become bedtime reader, rock star singer and master tucker-him-inner at night.  You are fully my life partner in parenting. 

Life circumstances are challenging right now.  Unemployment is difficult.  The future, always unknown, is scarier without the security of employment.  I'm proud of the way you've handled the past couple of months.  You are quicker to see God's hand in your life than you ever have been before.  You are determined to walk on the path of faith, to cling to His promises, yet I know that you are dogged by feelings of helplessness and pessimism.  Your natural tendency is towards an Eeyore outlook on life when things get hard, thank you for not bringing that grey cloud home with you and allowing it to seep into our home and marriage. 

I respect how you've put yourself out there; your willingness to tackle social networking purposefully is a testament to your character.  You are resourceful and resiliant.  You are working so hard to find a job and I am proud of you for that.  I trust you and believe in you. 

Thank you for taking time with your family.  I've really enjoyed our shared lunches and quick excursions to the pool. Thank you for taking better care of your body and using this time to focus on becoming healthier rather than wallowing in comfort foods, television or other distractors.  Thank you for realizing that we are richly blessed, despite our dwindling resources.  Thank you for spending more time in the Word and finding connections with your life and biblical events, people and experiences.  Thank you for your transparency with our small group members and a few others.   

I do not know what the future holds.  Perhaps your worst fears of home loss and foreclosure will be actualized, but even if that does happen, we will continue to love you and lean into our divine Provider.  He is good.  He can be trusted.  He does have a plan for us.  I can walk away from the lovely material possesions that currently make up our world without fear or bitterness.  The things that are important remain untouched:   our love, our health, our family, our faith. 

You are a wonderful father and a loving husband. 
Happy Father's Day. 
We love you. 
We are proud of you.

Love,
Rebecca
(Jake & Quinn) 

The Hungry little caterpillar

AFTER

BEFORE

Holy cow, this one little guy ate a whole pepper plant in two days. (Okay, the one pictured above was the pepper's sister plant and a bit bigger than the one on caterpillar's breakfast menu, but still!) He was HUGE after his gluttony. Wish a friendly bird had spotted him before the total decimation of our plant and made HIM breakfast.

I've been thinking a lot about the symbolism of this feast, though, in regards to our life circumstances right now and if I wasn't so sleep deprived I could probably make some intellectual connections but I'm thinking:
1. The caterpillar represents greed/gluttony of our nation....selfishness & egocentrism. One "bug" can destroy a whole natural habitat, rather than eating a little here and there and then moving on. (Though he did leave some nice fertilizer behind.)
2. The critter could also represent destructive thoughts, eating up truth and trying to destroy God's numerous promises. If we don't tend to our garden daily and communicate with God, read His word, we could easily allow His truth and promises to slip away from our hearts and minds.
3. Being on one salary is a challenging task. If we are not good stewards, all of our finances could dwindle away quickly. We need to face this challenge with courage and creativity!